HA!

I'm single now. It doesn't have the heft to it that i'd imagined. Day-to-day (we're on number 3 now) my life hasn't changed much, except that i've been binge-drinking and angry and i threw a bottle off my balcony into the street last night. I woke up and a lot of stuff was broken, a lot of inexplicable bruises. Made an asshat out of myself. So yeah, i guess it's different.

I get calls from my family and they're all worried, and i feel like every new family member who calls gives me just a little more experience in putting them all at ease. I'm just going through the motions now for those calls.

I'm throwing a party tonight, sort of a joint-birthday venture with a friend. There's gonna be a lot of people over here, a lot to drink and a girl i've been tempted by for the last week. We'll see where that goes. I'm cleaning my room now, the sheets are clean, i just need to pick up some trash on the floor and replace a lightbulb or two. Oh, and fold some clothes. and hide the evidence of a complete mental and emotional collapse. Shit, i've got stuff to do.

I haven't been single in such a long time that i don't even own condoms anymore. Jesus. I don't think it'll come to that tonight though. I sort of hope it doesn't, for more reasons that the fact i'm not equipped at the moment.

So i have no girlfriend, no car (mine's in the shop til the 22nd) no future and a lot of booze. And a lot of time.

What's a boy to do?