did anyone else

learn the definition of "punctual" from alladin?

say yes

didn't think i still liked elliott smith. shit.

Jennifer's Body

Movies set in high school just don't do it for me anymore. Brick was the last one i've seen that wasn't elementally lame.

Alright.

fuck the bus. I'm so goddamned worn out.

HO!

Not having a car has made me appreciate how many people ride the bus, and how much i am not one of them anymore.

I rode the bus down to get my hair cut last night, which was done with extraordinary skill by a fellow named David who liked to put his hands on my shoulders. Nice guy, though. And then i rode it back and walked for a bit and i realized that i never walk anywhere anymore either. I only sit and drive and bitch about parking. I haven't had to worry about parking for about three days now, and i'm much, MUCH healthier.

I ordered a pair of white pants and i imagine that i'll look like i belong on stage when they arrive. I ordered a black pair of the exact same pants, which were more expensive. I guess that means not quite so many people want white pants. Pity that. All the more for me.

Been listening to a lot of Beck lately. Sea Change. Back in high school my favorite musicians were Nick Drake, Elliott Smith and Beck. Two had killed themselves and when Sea Change came out i was really worried that he'd do the same before too long. Scientology works, i guess.

I have spent no more than fifteen minutes being sad since the breakup. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like i tried to be the Joker one night but pussed out. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like herpetic scarring. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like i got a credit card shoved in my mouth like Elijah Wood from Green Street Hooligans. I just put my card in my mouth and it was really easy for me. Elijah wood has a really small mouth, i guess. I feel like ringing the dinner bell for all the celebrity gossip blogs. Did he ever come out? I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth and i have a lot of things to compare it to.

kick an empty can across an empty floor.

HA!

I'm single now. It doesn't have the heft to it that i'd imagined. Day-to-day (we're on number 3 now) my life hasn't changed much, except that i've been binge-drinking and angry and i threw a bottle off my balcony into the street last night. I woke up and a lot of stuff was broken, a lot of inexplicable bruises. Made an asshat out of myself. So yeah, i guess it's different.

I get calls from my family and they're all worried, and i feel like every new family member who calls gives me just a little more experience in putting them all at ease. I'm just going through the motions now for those calls.

I'm throwing a party tonight, sort of a joint-birthday venture with a friend. There's gonna be a lot of people over here, a lot to drink and a girl i've been tempted by for the last week. We'll see where that goes. I'm cleaning my room now, the sheets are clean, i just need to pick up some trash on the floor and replace a lightbulb or two. Oh, and fold some clothes. and hide the evidence of a complete mental and emotional collapse. Shit, i've got stuff to do.

I haven't been single in such a long time that i don't even own condoms anymore. Jesus. I don't think it'll come to that tonight though. I sort of hope it doesn't, for more reasons that the fact i'm not equipped at the moment.

So i have no girlfriend, no car (mine's in the shop til the 22nd) no future and a lot of booze. And a lot of time.

What's a boy to do?