Rabbits, Sleep, Hangman. All in a day's work.

Let it never be said that i draw nothing but beautifuls. I have a reputation to uphold.

Today i played hangman with a classmate. I usually loathe my peers but hangman was fun. She was pretty too. So i win twice.

i get tired before i should, and wake up later than i should, and go to sleep later than i should. I've tried to remedy this, by doing homework until i'm tired, then going to be early but then my brain starts thinking about all the things it, for whatever reason, didn't think of that it had put on the day's thought agenda. Before i know it it's 4:40 and i'm thinking about that episode of Fight Quest where he gets hit in the liver by the french guy. That shit looked painful. And i stop and try to calm my brain down, the way one would stroke a rabbit that had just been attacked by the family Doberman. Rabbits freak the fuck out, apparently, if they're startled and they can't hop around afterward. I dunno, i never had one.

Anyway, my mind wanders into each crevice of my day before it will let itself sleep, checking everything over, blowing out candles, locking the doors. Once there's nothing left to think about, then i actually begin to feel tired. The rest of me has been waiting for about three hours by that point, it's bullshit.

I had an interesting discussion, which was basically the continuation of the same discussion i have every day with a certain person. It's strange, like an interactive TV show almost. There are a few plotlines, a small number of themes and each is touched on and further unveiled every episode. I don't want the finale to come, don't want a hiatus, to wait for next season. It's the strangest sensation - not attractive or even very pleasant, but enrapturing. The show you don't like, yet can't stop watching. that's really dehumanizing and not a full picture of everything, but it's one of the many feelings i get when, like clockwork, i talk to this person. a tiny victory, a tiny defeat, a tiny insight here and there. I don't get it. I want to figure it out.

Things are catching up to me, are hitting home. There's been the long, slow motion period of the last few years. I come out here, settle into the apartment and everything else in my life can stop. Friends from back home get my voicemail, friends from the city are sparse and don't make me feel like i'm needed all the time. I don't have to deal with anything, i can block it out, stop the bullet in the air, get on a plane and spend 9 months out of the year out of the line of fire.

I have an odd relationship with distance. Most of my relationships have been, at least at one point, long distance. I live a long way off from my home, my parents, my old friends. I rely on that distance, the peace that comes with knowing that it's all really far away.

Okay, i'm done musing about nothing for now. Whatever.