did anyone else

learn the definition of "punctual" from alladin?

say yes

didn't think i still liked elliott smith. shit.

Jennifer's Body

Movies set in high school just don't do it for me anymore. Brick was the last one i've seen that wasn't elementally lame.

Alright.

fuck the bus. I'm so goddamned worn out.

HO!

Not having a car has made me appreciate how many people ride the bus, and how much i am not one of them anymore.

I rode the bus down to get my hair cut last night, which was done with extraordinary skill by a fellow named David who liked to put his hands on my shoulders. Nice guy, though. And then i rode it back and walked for a bit and i realized that i never walk anywhere anymore either. I only sit and drive and bitch about parking. I haven't had to worry about parking for about three days now, and i'm much, MUCH healthier.

I ordered a pair of white pants and i imagine that i'll look like i belong on stage when they arrive. I ordered a black pair of the exact same pants, which were more expensive. I guess that means not quite so many people want white pants. Pity that. All the more for me.

Been listening to a lot of Beck lately. Sea Change. Back in high school my favorite musicians were Nick Drake, Elliott Smith and Beck. Two had killed themselves and when Sea Change came out i was really worried that he'd do the same before too long. Scientology works, i guess.

I have spent no more than fifteen minutes being sad since the breakup. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like i tried to be the Joker one night but pussed out. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like herpetic scarring. I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth that looks like i got a credit card shoved in my mouth like Elijah Wood from Green Street Hooligans. I just put my card in my mouth and it was really easy for me. Elijah wood has a really small mouth, i guess. I feel like ringing the dinner bell for all the celebrity gossip blogs. Did he ever come out? I have a crack in the right corner of my mouth and i have a lot of things to compare it to.

kick an empty can across an empty floor.

HA!

I'm single now. It doesn't have the heft to it that i'd imagined. Day-to-day (we're on number 3 now) my life hasn't changed much, except that i've been binge-drinking and angry and i threw a bottle off my balcony into the street last night. I woke up and a lot of stuff was broken, a lot of inexplicable bruises. Made an asshat out of myself. So yeah, i guess it's different.

I get calls from my family and they're all worried, and i feel like every new family member who calls gives me just a little more experience in putting them all at ease. I'm just going through the motions now for those calls.

I'm throwing a party tonight, sort of a joint-birthday venture with a friend. There's gonna be a lot of people over here, a lot to drink and a girl i've been tempted by for the last week. We'll see where that goes. I'm cleaning my room now, the sheets are clean, i just need to pick up some trash on the floor and replace a lightbulb or two. Oh, and fold some clothes. and hide the evidence of a complete mental and emotional collapse. Shit, i've got stuff to do.

I haven't been single in such a long time that i don't even own condoms anymore. Jesus. I don't think it'll come to that tonight though. I sort of hope it doesn't, for more reasons that the fact i'm not equipped at the moment.

So i have no girlfriend, no car (mine's in the shop til the 22nd) no future and a lot of booze. And a lot of time.

What's a boy to do?

The best outlet for anger: Strategy games.

Risk, Dawn of War, Command and Conquer, Warcraft II and III, Starcraft, Red Alert. Shit, i survived puberty and adolescence thanks in no small part to those games and others like them. They just don't make them like they used to, and the best ones are always, ALWAYS (if you'll pardon the nerve-grating expression) indie games. I'm serious, i hate the snooty posturing purported by the coffee-bar crowd (yes, this phenomenon exists in the development community), i really do. It makes my fucking blood boil, and i don't care what you say, Animal Collective is a bag of dicks. Seriously. All the dicks. And Zooey Deschanell (sp?) was waaaay cooler when i dated her clone in junior high school, not that i was ever convinced any of you liked actual women anyway. Fags.

(pic unrelated)

Anyway, yeah, nerd-shit. So i'm unapologetically addicted to Cortex Command, i'm sure i've mentioned in in passing. I've done a lot of work on user-created content for it, it's got a hold on me. I'll admit it. I have a problem.

I spend so much less time in front of the computer (or, rather, for the last two or so years i have) than i used to, i didn't play console games for like a year. I went on a sabbatical, got my finger off the pulse of my favorite forum, stopped blogging as much, etc. I dunno, i came back and i noticed all these changes to my favorite old internet hangouts, it's like moving out of your parents' house and coming back to visit a year later.

I think i'm done with this line of thought.

What do you think happens when you get too far from your house?

Watching "Bubba Ho Tep" with mark at midnight...

on a monday night. and we might be a little fucked up.

My options for a fluid with which to take my antidepressant tomorrow morning.

-Irish Creme (Offbrand)
-Coffee liquour (Offbrand)
-Hendricks Gin
-Beer that tastes like cough syrup that i didn't pick out
-Cough Syrup that i did pick out
-Tap Water
-A little bit of Perrier (for Gin and Tonics, mainly)
-Tonic Water
-Raspberry Sorbet
-Saliva
-Warm Backwash of a Decent Beer from tonight

I might have a problem.

Egypitan Rituals are really sick. They really make me terrified of what future burial rituals might be like.

Mark informs me that he "Fucking loves stevie-ray, man." We agree that John Dies at the End is a pretty good book. I inform him that Don Coscarelli has the movie rights and i really like delivering news that brings so much joy. I hope David Wong feels the same way, i guess, but i doubt he reads my blog.

Anyway, Bruce Campbell, as it turns out, was in The Hudsucker Proxy which i have just recently seen for the first time. We were gonna watch "Raising Arizona" tonight, another classic i haven't seen, but i wanted to be sober when i saw it for the first time.

Movies that people consider "Classics" that i haven't seen in lo these twenty one years:

- The Neverending Story
- Citizen Kane
- Nosferatu
- Titanic (all the way through, at least)
- 8 1/2
- Others, i'm sure

Movies that people consider "Classics" that i think are bullshit:

- Titanic (what i saw of it)
- Romeo + Juliet
- The Princess Bride
- Hello, Dolly
- Beauty and the Beast
- the fourth Harry Potter Movie
- the newest Harry Potter Movie (which was total bullshit, and i hated it and it made me not believe in wizards anymore because it was so fucking terrible)
- Come to mention it, the second Harry Potter movie sucked some serious dick, too.
- The first three starwars movies (don't get me wrong, they were really fun when i was younger)
- Day of the Dead (though there's a funny story about watching this one at 2:00 in the afternoon with about seven people all recovering from the same borderline drug overdose)

But yeah, i ought to go to sleep.

Watching "Stop Making Sense" with mark at midnight.

I have a lot of respect for people who are as totally fucking weird as they really are.

I stopped blogging because i lost a friend. I stopped doing a lot of stuff i guess. I think i'm back now.

David Byrne is dancing with a lamp. There's this other guy guy who looks a lot like Prince plays the synthesizer. He just put on his Buddy Holly glasses. Concerts aren't this theatrical anymore. At least not these concerts i've gone to.

I wish i could have this kind of enthusiasm about anything, anything at all. Hell, i'd take gardening.

I remember going to a party in 8th grade, it was a halloween party and i was the new kid in the school. There was a strobe light and music i hated and i drank a lot of soda. I liked a girl there, but i just absolutely hated everything else. I feel like we could have ended up kissing at some party in high school, but maybe i just fantasized that at some party in high school. I honestly couldn't tell the difference, all that seems so impossibly far away.

Anyway, yeah, strobe lights. There are strobe lights in this part of the concert now.

I'm from indiana, and right now i feel like getting on Google maps, zooming all the way in and following an interstate from end to end. So, if you'll excuse me.